Living At Home
….I’m done with it. I don’t know what I’m going to do about it…but I’m done with it. That’s all I have to say on that topic.
I swear my family is so fucking stupid. My brother and I were supposed to go out tonight with our cousins but we weren’t completely sure if we were gonna do anything. So me and my brother were like ok we’ll keep tonight open just in case. So I guess my cousin called my brother and said that we were going to Dave and Busters and get this, my brother didn’t fucking tell me…….he knew I was invited but apparently my parents told him to wake me up and he didn’t. My dad overheard a conversation for one second where my mom asked if I had a test on Monday and I told her it was on Thursday but of course, my dad didn’t hear the second part and assumed that my mom was right, which she never is when she talks about my schedule. And I was taking a quick power nap so my parents told my brother not to wake me up. Whatever that makes sense. But seriously? Do NOT make my decisions for me, it was ok when I was younger, but I’m fucking 19, I think I can make my own decisions by now.
The part I’m pissed at is the fact that my brother listened to them. AND after I got up, he was still home and I talked to him so he knew I was awake, and he didn’t even tell me. Then he knocked on the door while I was showering and I told him I was in the shower and you know what he said, “Ok.” That’s is, just ok. Not “I’m going out with the cousins in a bit, u coming?” Not “hurry up we’re going to dave n busters.” Just “ok.” Seriously? You’re not even gonna fuckin try???? YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLIC BITCH! And he knows that I will take every opportunity to get out of this fuckin hell whole that I live in! He KNOWS that I take EVERY OPPORTUNITY I HAVE to get out of this house! HE KNOWS THAT I FUCKING HATE IT HERE! I’m here ALL YEAR ROUND and I’M NOT ALLOWED TO GET OUT! Seriously? He even knows about all the shit I do to GET OUT. He needs to fuckin think about these things.
And you know what his response is when I asked him why he didn’t call me? He said that I was in the bathroom and mom wouldn’t have let me go. Well guess what, you could have told me through the door, we were already talking through the dam door and that’s what you always to when I’m taking too long in the shower, you tell me to hurry up and you say it through the fucking door. And really, you’re going to say that mom won’t let me? Cuz I’m pretty sure dad overrules mom EVERY TIME, and dad WANTED me to go! He TOLD me to go when I told him that my test wasn’t till Thursday but guess what, you didn’t fuckin reply to the text in time so FUCK IT and FUCK YOU! And even if you did reply, you think I’m gonna go? FUCK NO! I am NOT gonna be that loser that got left behind and then shows up later, ok. I have more respect for myself than that. And you’re going to listen to MOM when she says I can’t go? You’re not even gonna ask me??? I think it’s MY decision, not hers. She’s the one telling me to go mingle with people, I think she would let me go if I said just that one line. She doesn’t even have valid a reason for NOT letting me go. If she said I have a test tomorrow then u better realize who you’re talking to. It’s MOM! This is the woman that asks you the same dam question 50 times in 1 hour because she doesn’t know the answer, and you’re going to trust HER to memorize MY SCHEDULE? I have the most COMPLICATED schedule in the whole family! It changes fucking every 2 or 3 MONTHS!
Bottom line - MY SCHEDULE, MY LIFE, MY COUSINS, MY INVITATION, YOU BETTER FUCKIN TELL ME!
I’m a college student. If you ask any adult when in their life they had the most fun, they’ll say in college. Me? Not so much. I’m in college and I do Indian cultrual dance called Mohiniyattam, and I volunteer in the ER at Kaiser Hospital. I do these as extracurricular activities. Why? Because if you want to be in grad school these days, you have to have extra activities and be involved in your community. But keep in mind that if you do extra activities, your grades can easily drop. And your grades have to be good for grad school or even to just get a job after your undergrad schooling. So you want extra activities WITH good grades. But what do you do when your extra activities start taking over your life?
What do you do when your dancing for a program organized by people who can not seem to get their shit together??? Am I really supposed to open up my whole schedule and cancel all of my other activities just for this one program???? I bought a ticket to go to a Lupe Fiasco and Miguel concert a month ago, and the program isn’t till later this month! I bought the ticket AT LEAST a month before the concert and my friends and I were all going to go. BUT since you can’t get your shit together, and we might have rehearsal that day, I’m supposed to cancel the concert because you don’t really know what day the rehearsal is but it MIGHT be on that day??? REALLY? Am I really supposed to cancel all the plans I made just because the ADULTS I’m dealing with are NOT RESPONSIBLE?
Well, you know what I say? FUCK YOU!!!! I’m supposed to be studying and having fun! That’s my job as a COLLEGE FRESHMAN! But instead my life is being run over my something that you’re supposed to enjoy. Never in my life did I think I would say this, but I’m so DONE WITH DANCE! I’m not supposed to be this stressed out. I CAN’T FUCKING HANDLE IT! IM NOT SUPERMAN!
And to make things even better, I’m on a QUARTER SYSTEM IN COLLEGE. Which means I have midterms almost every week! And durring half of the dance practices, I’m standing around for AT LEAST 20 minutes doing NOTHING!!!! So guess what, FUCK THIS SHIT. I have to complete this program since I already agreed to it and signed up and paid and everything. But if you think I’m doing this next year… THEN STOP DREAMING!!!
You INSPIRE Me (:
When I see you working hard, it makes me want to work just as hard, so thank you.